theonion:

PRO: Get to puncture child with needle
CON: You have to go to a place

theonion:

PRO: Get to puncture child with needle

CON: You have to go to a place

(via cleverusername14)

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

(Source: dailylaughter4u, via bahanahbean)

minnelli:

Today at work I bumped into Martin Freeman on the stairwell on his way to his warm-up for the show tonight (for those who don’t know I work at the theatre where he’s performing in Richard III). We were both kind of awkwardly ‘oh sorry, excuse me’ trying to get past each other, when…

dongstomper69:

bent-duck:

fussybabybitch:

usatoday:

Is there anything better than Free Slurpee Day?

Access to basic health care

financial security

anime titties

dongstomper69:

bent-duck:

fussybabybitch:

usatoday:

Is there anything better than Free Slurpee Day?

Access to basic health care

financial security

anime titties

(via cleverusername14)

Reblog If You Can Take Off Your Bra Without Taking Your Shirt Off.

sailing-s0ul:

awomanfromitaly:

anukii:

mis-c3l-la-neous:

themishamigosofthemishapocalypse:

50eathaters:

image   

Girl’s are amazing

I think we broke the notes…

i feel like i’m reblogging history. “the post that broke the notes”

THERE ARE NO FUCKING NOTES

WE HAVE REACHED INFINITY

what the heLL

where is it

(via cleverusername14)

beforethedawnoftime:

Random Severus Snape meta, because I keep seeing a lot of posts about him on my dash and felt like writing it down.

Severus Snape was a bullying asshat of a teacher. Not going to deny that. Whatever his reasons, however sympathetic a character he may be, (and I…

lizclimo:

fair enough

lizclimo:

fair enough

(via yourealittlepooper)